Congratulations should go out to Mike Parker, the play-by-play man for Oregon State Athletics, heard every fall weekend by literally hundreds of people in both Linn and Benton counties.
We’ve all had those moments of poor judgment, perhaps fueled by copious alcohol consumption, where we’ve eaten items that arguably do not fall into the food category. That encompasses roughly 93% of Taco Bell’s menu, which consistently proves to be delicious, regardless of how much meat there may or may not be in their products.
A napkin, on the other hand, is almost certainly not a food item. But Parker, ever the trailblazer, did not let that stand in his way. At 3 a.m. in a Denny’s, he challenged himself to go the extra mile. Finding himself surprising unsatiated by the more traditional menu items, he made the bold decision to consume his napkin. Kudos, Mr. Parker.
Well others have been more critical of his decision making, I say he should be commended. Those familiar with Denny’s will know that fiber is critical to the processing of such a meal. And there’s no better source of fiber than heavily processed and bleached cellulose. Poop.
In all seriousness, it looks like Oregon State is handling this the right way, and Parker is dealing with the unwanted attention responsibly.
